lost my way.

there are times in everyone's lives where something doesn't click. we're lost, somewhere in the dusty corners of our own minds. i find myself at this point in my life.

today, i am getting my license. not only does this mean i need to find a job in order to pay for gas and insurance, but i need to make sure i don't get lost on my journey to any given destination.

this summer, as i was hiking through the woods in the upper peninsula, i found myself lost. the whole time i was walking, i was mesmerized by how the light streamed through the trees, which were oddly shaped like benches in places. in some instances i sat for an hour at a time thinking about how enjoyable it'd be to smoke a blunt there for some odd reason. standing in the middle of nature, the origin of everything i didn't even care if i was lost. it was comfortable.

this is where i find myself. in the middle of things that are organic and inorganic. i am comfortable, but at times too comfortable. i don't want to lose my way, but right now, no matter what path i take, my impending fate seems inevitable.

boxed water is better.

i recently stopped by one of my favorite coffee shops in west michigan, lemonjellos. i was thirsty, but what really sounded good was a big glass of water. instead of the bottles of water most people sell, lemonjellos sells Boxed Water.

the container is made out of 85% renewable material, trees.

the trees used to make the boxes come from well

managed, sustainable forests. they remain healthy and stable so they can still remove CO2 from the atmosphere.

the boxes are shipped flat to the filler so they don't take up as much space in order for a larger quantity to be shipped at a time.

the boxes are recyclable. if they are thrown away, they can be flattened in order to take up less space in a landfill.

the people at the company really care about the world's water supply. 10% of profits are donated to world water relief foundations.

the people at the company really care about the trees too. another 10% of the profits are donated to reforestation foundations. by drinking this water you are planting more trees and helping to strengthen mother nature's lungs.

this water is delicious, good for you, and good for the environment. why wouldn't you want to drink it?

pure.

last night i had the time of my life. i didn't do much, but i was around people i enjoy throughly. everything was pretty much perfect. we hit some minor speed bumps, but the conversation is good.

flour fights. never had one before. i will most likely not venture into that area of fun again, because the result is a swollen, red, irritated eye. also known as pinkeye. this is a set back for the holiday season.

needless to say, i'm sure this year's holiday pictures will look lovely.

drive my soul.

winter brings yet another woe into my life. my shoe selection is limited to shoes that will 1) not get soaked in the snow, 2) cover my whole foot, and 3) match what i am wearing. i am all for the sneakers, but i find it very hard to rock vans when your feet are drenched in 35 degree water.

therefore, today i am thankful that i will be getting my license on christmas eve. no longer will i have to stand in the cold, or walk a great distance. this could be a problem for my fitness level, but soccer season is coming up faster than i can handle, so i think i'll be good.

you never know whose life you're going to travel into.

small.

this spring, i took a trip to japan. my hotel room in tokyo was less than accommodating. there were no english television channels and the alarm clock, which was built into the headboard, was they most difficult time device i have ever encountered. not only did i have no phone, but no wireless.

i sat, and i drew, for a good two hours might i add. i came to the conclusion that while on this trip i was going to get a tattoo. i was dead set. i wanted a yellow and black butterfly, right smack on my hip bone.

this ended up not happening because of school policies and the fact that i didn't have a legal guardian with me. figures, the thing that gets in the way is the rule book. looking back, i am glad that it didn't work out, because now i have a clearer idea of what i want. my soccer number on my hip, and the phrase 'impossible is nothing' written on my foot.

take time. think about big decisions. i know i will.

30x32

exams are over. let's all take a moment of silence for 1) the death of my decent GPA for the time being, and 2) the fact that i ended up with an A- in AP chemistry. though very contradicting statements, both are undeniably true.

in order to take the stress off from these series of events, my boyfriend and i went to the mall. he needed new jeans. i need new jeans, however i hate shopping with him. he is a good fifty million sizes smaller than me.

in a way, i'm grateful for this fact. large people scare me. all of my friends are tiny, and i don't think i could sleep in the same bed as someone who isn't as tiny as i am. i realize that this will potentially be a problem later on in my life, but really, it matters.

back to these jeans. pacsun, my lover in disguise. they have the best selection of guys clothes. i love having a boyfriend who has a similar style as me, because 1) i can pick out clothes for him knowing that he will like them, and 2) i can wear any of his stuff i want, besides his jeans.

the beginning of my new years resolution list:

fit in tyler's jeans. their simply too awesome.

up in smoke.

i walked into school this morning, late, with no make up on my face. this sounds like any other day except today, i took a test that was worth 20 percent of my grade. this adds to the stress of the fact that i most likely looked like crap.

i had the best afternoon i have had in a while. finished my ap chemistry exam, and chilled with some of my best friends. one of which got into a car accident tonight. luckily, everyone is going to bed tonight safe and sound.

welcome to exam week.

twelve more hours till winter break.

goodnight.

hot and cold.

its the winter time in michigan. i have to say, this time of year really gets on my nerves. i like being able to walk out my door and not care what i have on because i know i will still be warm. oh no, not in this state. you never know what you'll run into.

though i have bought myself winter coats in the past, this is the first year that i had to buy an insulated one in order to join my boyfriend on the mountain. this boy makes me do things i would not have been caught dead doing seven months ago.

so my coat of choice? a white helly hansen, hooded ski jacket. it's only a shell, meaning

i'll be required to layer up underneath. needless to say, my time today that should have been spent on studying, was spent looking up sweatshirts. my brand of choice today? volcom stone.

comfortable.

this morning, i went to bed at 2. i woke up at 5. i woke up at 9. i woke up at 11. this morning, life was nice. i spent time with my friends last night. my boyfriend walked me to the door, and he told me not to slip, knowing that i would because michigan's weather conditions are not my best friend. i was wearing my converse.

these shoes have been on my feet since last winter. since then they have seen snow, both twilight movies, long hikes through the upper peninsula, and cedar point. the only reason they have made it this far is comfort. if there is one thing i know about, it is that.

what i can say about my life right now, is that i am comfortable. and that's what matters.