it's that time of year again. that time of year where everyone starts looking for their prom dresses or thinking about what girl they are going to ask or who is going to ask them. it's also valentine's day, aka single's awareness day, aka cupid's day, aka the most sappy, worst, heart-wrenching, debatable day of the year.

someone needs to save us from the confusion.

no façades allowed.

people confuse me. hell, i confuse myself. i stayed home today and curled up in a nice fruit of the loom white tee and slept my cold off. although i am still stuffy as hell and am pretty sure i have lost my sense of smell forever, i can see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. during this wonderful day off however, i looked up places to go to college in a year.

due to the fact that i plan on majoring in environmental studies, i am trying to find a college that takes pride in their environmental contribution to this sad world. i found myself looking at the university of colorado. there are many problems with this,

1. i hate winter.

2. it is a ton of miles away from home.

oh and also, it is going to be hard to be fashionable when all i can wear most of the time is a freaking north face. this will be frustrating. maybe i will have to continue my search elsewhere.

take me back.

all of this...

reminds me of summer. i want it all back right now. i want the feelings i had and the smells that were there. i want it all back. this winter has been super hard. i am not one for wool hats and wearing a jacket every day. i want to be able to slip on some sandals and not have to lace up shoes or worry about getting wet unless i'll be by a pool or hit by a sprinkler while running, which is always welcomed any way.

this summer, i plan to:

- buy some new gladiator sandals even if they are out of style

- go running every day and compete in the human race

- watch every world cup game that is available to view

- get a real job

- lay out in the sun and get my fair dose of vitamin D

- save for a car, or something for myself

- become more environmentally conscious

needless to say, this summer is going to be epic, even though i have to get through almost an entire semester of school still. FML.

camouflaged.

this addiction is getting out of control. which one you ask? well there are many. running, art(ing), sitting in the hot tub daily, driving fast. its ridiculous.

another ridiculous thing? my wardrobe as of late. lately i have been in a serious funk. i always want to look at my best, however lately i just don't care. i want to wear clothes that are amazing, but then i wake up in the morning and have no motivation to put them on. it is really a travesty.

hopefully when spring and summer come around i will be motivated to wear something other than black and white things. i need heat right now. come on march, come sooner.

clinging to a cliff.

i swear sometimes songs come on the radio and lights turn red just to torture me. sometimes i think about wearing that same sweatshirt and a feeling comes over me. most of the time i get sick and tired of having no one to break down to for fear of making another person feeling unimportant.

the worst part about this whole thing is that i will never be able to forget. ill never be able to move on from that. some people will always buy the same shoes to run in because that's what they know fits. some people always wear the same brand of jeans because they know that they make their legs look thinner.

you'll most likely always be stuck in my head, but i promise you, i'll never see you again, and that's something ill have to live with the rest of my life.